August 22, 2014
vibrant-oxymoron:

Garbage kid.

vibrant-oxymoron:

Garbage kid.

August 22, 2014
vibrant-oxymoron:

30 days clean and I won’t let anything ruin my day.

vibrant-oxymoron:

30 days clean and I won’t let anything ruin my day.

August 21, 2014
allison-meow:

bestie and I being sexual for kappa ball

allison-meow:

bestie and I being sexual for kappa ball

August 21, 2014
allison-meow:

treated myself hard to this beautiful lingerie from Victorias Secret paired with my choker harness for Kappa Ball.

allison-meow:

treated myself hard to this beautiful lingerie from Victorias Secret paired with my choker harness for Kappa Ball.

August 21, 2014
allison-meow:

trying extra hard lately to view my body in a positive light.
people often assume that i am naturally confident in my body/appearance because i post the occasional (okay maybe frequent) selfie or nude photo. this is certainly not the case. i have struggled with my body image for at least half of my lifetime and i’m not even 20 years old yet. how sad is that? i was worrying about how my body and appearance were perceived by others since at least the fourth grade. no fourth grader should be thinking about that. 
Anywho, i take these photos to help me accept myself for who i am. maybe it doesn’t make sense to some people but it makes sense to me.  sometimes when i’m feeling real low, i’ll take pictures of myself smiling. sometimes when i’m feeling disgusted by my body, i’ll take photos of it. selfies until i like them. its liberating for me to post these photos on here. like i’ve said before, i spent so many years hating my body and i’ve come to realize that this way of living is not healthy or productive. hating and hurting my body will not change it. i have to learn embrace myself for what i am the same way that i embrace others. i preach self-love, body-positivity, and compassion for all sentient beings but i have yet to learn how to apply these myself. i am a sentient being. i deserve the love that i show others. even though i have realized that i must change, it doesn’t mean that its an easy thing to do. it takes time. i have to reshape my mind and my thoughts. i have to cultivate self love and acceptance in my daily life and its a really hard thing to do.
i’m not quite there yet but this is a big step. yes, i have posted nudes before but never like this. side view photos have always been the enemy. they accentuate the features that i am most insecure of it a way that makes them difficult and almost impossible to hide. the skin/fat beneath my chin, the thickness of my arms, my not so perky boobs (which are blocked by said thick arms), the ever wretched gut, my bulbous thick thighs. If there’s ever a sideview photo of me, clothed or not, i am more than likely sucking in, arching my back, making sure my arm is not pressed against my body, sticking out my chin, and bending the leg closest to the camera. that is so much work and so much to think about just to take a picture. it doesn’t have to be that complicated. This photo was taken in the morning before eating (and also after a day of not eating much) which is the only reason i was able to do this. so its not even the full effect. but baby steps, guys. i’m working on it.
I tell other people to embrace themselves and appreciate their bodies for all the things that it does for them. so here it goes. because of the skin and fat under my chin, i can make some hilarious faces and send great snapchats. because of the thickness of my arms, i can rearrange an entire bedroom on my own, i can move in and out of a dorm room every year, i can climb trees. my boobs may not be perky but thats because gravity exists and they’re pretty big and heavy. boobs come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and they’re all good. boobs are just really good. that gut of mine has the ability to house an entire burrito and life without burritos is sad. my thick thighs allow me to dance and tumble and bike ride (and crush people’s heads between them?). 
My body does so much for me that i don’t even realize. even when i am hating my body, it is loving me unconditionally and doing things to benefit me. its time that i learn to love it back in the same way and give it the appreciation it deserves for being the vehicle of my soul and allowing me to exist in and experience this beautiful world. its time that we all do that.

allison-meow:

trying extra hard lately to view my body in a positive light.

people often assume that i am naturally confident in my body/appearance because i post the occasional (okay maybe frequent) selfie or nude photo. this is certainly not the case. i have struggled with my body image for at least half of my lifetime and i’m not even 20 years old yet. how sad is that? i was worrying about how my body and appearance were perceived by others since at least the fourth grade. no fourth grader should be thinking about that. 

Anywho, i take these photos to help me accept myself for who i am. maybe it doesn’t make sense to some people but it makes sense to me.  sometimes when i’m feeling real low, i’ll take pictures of myself smiling. sometimes when i’m feeling disgusted by my body, i’ll take photos of it. selfies until i like them. its liberating for me to post these photos on here. like i’ve said before, i spent so many years hating my body and i’ve come to realize that this way of living is not healthy or productive. hating and hurting my body will not change it. i have to learn embrace myself for what i am the same way that i embrace others. i preach self-love, body-positivity, and compassion for all sentient beings but i have yet to learn how to apply these myself. i am a sentient being. i deserve the love that i show others. even though i have realized that i must change, it doesn’t mean that its an easy thing to do. it takes time. i have to reshape my mind and my thoughts. i have to cultivate self love and acceptance in my daily life and its a really hard thing to do.

i’m not quite there yet but this is a big step. yes, i have posted nudes before but never like this. side view photos have always been the enemy. they accentuate the features that i am most insecure of it a way that makes them difficult and almost impossible to hide. the skin/fat beneath my chin, the thickness of my arms, my not so perky boobs (which are blocked by said thick arms), the ever wretched gut, my bulbous thick thighs. If there’s ever a sideview photo of me, clothed or not, i am more than likely sucking in, arching my back, making sure my arm is not pressed against my body, sticking out my chin, and bending the leg closest to the camera. that is so much work and so much to think about just to take a picture. it doesn’t have to be that complicated. This photo was taken in the morning before eating (and also after a day of not eating much) which is the only reason i was able to do this. so its not even the full effect. but baby steps, guys. i’m working on it.

I tell other people to embrace themselves and appreciate their bodies for all the things that it does for them. so here it goes. because of the skin and fat under my chin, i can make some hilarious faces and send great snapchats. because of the thickness of my arms, i can rearrange an entire bedroom on my own, i can move in and out of a dorm room every year, i can climb trees. my boobs may not be perky but thats because gravity exists and they’re pretty big and heavy. boobs come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and they’re all good. boobs are just really good. that gut of mine has the ability to house an entire burrito and life without burritos is sad. my thick thighs allow me to dance and tumble and bike ride (and crush people’s heads between them?). 

My body does so much for me that i don’t even realize. even when i am hating my body, it is loving me unconditionally and doing things to benefit me. its time that i learn to love it back in the same way and give it the appreciation it deserves for being the vehicle of my soul and allowing me to exist in and experience this beautiful world. its time that we all do that.

August 21, 2014
allison-meow:

nostalgia room

allison-meow:

nostalgia room

August 21, 2014
vibrant-oxymoron:

Good makeup days try and cheer me up. It’s working, a little bit.

vibrant-oxymoron:

Good makeup days try and cheer me up. It’s working, a little bit.

August 21, 2014
girlsgirlsghouls:

i miss cosplaying jack

girlsgirlsghouls:

i miss cosplaying jack

August 21, 2014
loveinacolderclimate:

stlara:
othilia simon by philippe cometti for zoo magazine #37 fw 12.13

loveinacolderclimate:

stlara:

othilia simon by philippe cometti for zoo magazine #37 fw 12.13

(via artschouler)

August 21, 2014
vibrant-oxymoron:

I just spent an entire hour on my eye makeup because it gave me something to do.

vibrant-oxymoron:

I just spent an entire hour on my eye makeup because it gave me something to do.

August 21, 2014
allison-meow:

Lost my hair in Nam

allison-meow:

Lost my hair in Nam

August 21, 2014
allison-meow:

hahah so this one night back in Nam..

allison-meow:

hahah so this one night back in Nam..

(Source: getgolden)

August 21, 2014

(Source: allison-meow)

August 21, 2014
allison-meow:

a real actual photo of myself in the physical presence of a supernatural being goddess.

allison-meow:

a real actual photo of myself in the physical presence of a supernatural being goddess.

August 19, 2014

allison-meow:

night crafter

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